My Way, the Highway, or Kara's Way

I like to steer. Thank you for the picture, Wix.com

Kara amazes me with her abilities.

I'm not one to let another queen into my realm. If it's my space, it happens my way.

God laughs at that apparently. He gave me a daughter who came out grown up. She has had definite opinions about her attire and hair since she was 2 years old. And Kal got a second mother in her.

I have started letting go of some of my ways of doing things to see how she sets up and organizes different things around our house.

It has been hard to let go of some control, but I'm seeing her take right to the responsibility. Naturally, she comes up with her own ways of organizing, and I have to step back and let her do it. Sometimes she sees that my way was better; sometimes her way is better; and sometimes it really makes no difference one way or another.

The point is to give her some freedom, then shut my mouth.

She and I finished some Christmas shopping tonight while Kris and Kal were out. We stuck in a movie, Eloise at Christmastime, while we set to work wrapping the presents we just bought.

Since I decided about 15 years ago that I don't really like wrapping presents, I let her take full control of the project, and I acted as her helper.

I used the paper she said to use while we both wrapped, then she made the tags. She got to be the boss for that time.

Kara did just fine. She made all sorts of pretty presents and had a blast doing it.

With Kal, it's just the same. If I give him the freedom to do something, I need to step back, let him figure it out without meddling all over the place, then rejoice with him when he's accomplished something, and encourage him to try again when an idea fails.

Too often, the MOM in me kicks in correcting every tiny, nit-picking, little thing. All my children hear is that they're doing it wrong. All of it is wrong. Only my way is right.

No, no, no!

True, they need guidance and teaching, but I'm really trying to relax on the details that don't matter. My being bossy and controlling in every scenario, thinking it's my way or the highway, only harms them in the long run by throttling any ambition that arises in them.

God gave them free will, creativity, brains, and hands to work out their ideas if only I'll step aside long enough to let them exercise those traits.

Just so we're all clear: I'm still the boss of bedtimes.